Studies show that women file for divorce more often than men. Most women cite “irreconcilable differences” as the main reason for wanting to end their marriage. For others, however, divorce is a means of escaping an abusive or even dangerous situation. For those women especially, there are some things to think about before filing for divorce in Texas.
First, consider hiring an attorney. Although you don't have to legally use an attorney in Texas, online services aren't always accurate, and some aren't even run by licensed attorneys. In cases of spousal or child abuse, you don't want to take the chance of making any mistakes. Family attorneys can help you with temporary orders or temporary restraining orders, if necessary. They can also help you decide what is most important to you, such as child custody or property division, and set up a plan accordingly.
Next, you should gather as much documentation as possible. This will help give your attorney a clear picture of your situation. These include:
- Financial documents – Look for documents such as bank statements, tax returns, pay stubs and income statements, retirement account statements such as 401 (k) and IRA paperwork, and credit card statements.
- Property documents – These include deeds, mortgage statements, and titles for real estate and vehicles.
- Legal papers – Legal papers include wills, trusts, and any current orders against your spouse.
- Children's documents – Get school records and medical records for your child. If you're in an abusive marriage, try to get copies of any police reports filed when they responded to disturbances at your home. They may help establish a pattern concerning your spouse and would be important during a custody trial.
Make digital copies of each document, but be sure they are stored in a secure, preferably encrypted file.
Meanwhile, develop a plan for property division and prepare for possible disputes. Texas is a community property state. That means that, absent any exceptions, all property acquired during the marriage will be divided 50/50 in a divorce. This won't actually end up being exactly equal. The judge will take into account such things as each spouse's earning ability, the length of marriage, and any children involved before awarding possession, and you may not get as much or what you think you should. Any property or assets you owned before the marriage is labeled as separate property and should be confirmed as your separate property. However, if you are expecting a contentious divorce, it would be a good idea to gather documents proving your ownership of certain properties or items prior to filing for divorce. Take pictures of valuable items and assets, if possible.
It's also very important to develop a personal financial plan, especially if you haven't been the main source of income for the family or the one in charge of paying the bills. Becoming financially independent before you file for divorce will make things much easier for you and your family. Here are some important steps:
- Get a checking account and a savings account in your name – Having these accounts in your name allows you to pay your own expenses. It also keeps your money safe from your spouse taking it.
- Get a credit card in your name – This establishes your own line of credit separate from your spouse. It also provides a financial safety net should you need it.
- If you're afraid your spouse will cut off access to any joint accounts, talk to your attorney about temporary orders that can prevent this.
- If possible, have enough money in your bank account to cover three months of living expenses before you file. This will provide some peace of mind, especially if you have children.
- Get a job – If you haven't worked outside of the home for a while, consider looking for one before you file. If you have a job, look for one that offers advanced training or the possibility for advancement. Remember, if you are lucky enough to get alimony in Texas, it is only temporary and is meant to help for a short period of time long enough until you can take care of yourself. The sooner you get firmly established in a position to provide for your family comfortably, the better.
Getting a divorce may seem overwhelming, but a little research will give you the peace of mind you'll need to proceed with confidence.