What is a Divorce Coach?

divorce coach

Divorce can be lonely, as well as stressful. Dealing with the legal and financial issues is difficult enough. Add children and your own day-to-day affairs, and you don't know where to turn. You feel completely overwhelmed. Does this sound familiar? If so, a divorce coach could be just what you need. A divorce coach can help you get through the draining aspect of the divorce process, both legal and personal. He or she can help you with everything from understanding legal documents to preparing for your post-divorce life.

Some divorce coaches are mental health professionals, many with backgrounds in areas related to families and the divorce process. Although they are not therapists, they can be a big comfort during this difficult time. They can ease your fears by helping you find answers to the questions that have been keeping you awake at night. They will listen to all of your frustrations, then help you learn to control them when you have to face your spouse or other members of his or her legal team during the divorce process.

A divorce coach can be a valuable member of your legal team, as well. When you meet with your lawyer in order to discuss your priorities for your settlement agreement, you will be going over the incidents that brought you to this point, dredging up a great deal of anger and bitterness. Venting with your lawyer could make the meeting costly and unproductive. A divorce coach can meet with you privately before the meeting and listen as you release all the pent-up hostility, something you legitimately need to do periodically. Once you feel more in control, the two of you can work together to decide where you will compromise and where you definitely will not. By working through your emotions first, you free your lawyer up to do what he or she does best: work on getting you the best settlement agreement possible.

Many people choose to work with a divorce coach because they have children. Divorce coaches are often knowledgeable in child development. While your lawyer is working towards getting you the best possible agreement when it comes to your child, the divorce coach will work with you in helping the children prepare for their new living situation. As the legal procedure moves forward, a divorce coach can help parents plan the discussion they must have with their children and help them prepare for their possible responses, as well as discuss some age-appropriate answers to those questions.

Some parents then decide to co-parent, or both parents share custody and care of the children equally, rather than fight over who would get primary custody. A divorce coach is especially helpful here. Those who co-parent will need to learn ways to put the children's needs before their own, ways to put their personal feelings aside and focus on them. Parents will need to learn new communication skills when it comes to themselves and the children. They will need a parenting plan that details shared responsibilities and family rules. Plus, no amount of planning can predict what issue may arise later. A divorce coach continues to be at hand, even after the divorce is final.

The divorce coach can continue to be there for you when the proceedings are done. The end of the divorce is also the beginning of a new life. If you've been married for ten, twenty years or more, that beginning can appear daunting. Your divorce coach can help make some of these changes a little less overwhelming. To start you on your journey, he or she can help you deal with the months of anger, sadness and frustration. You've been run down by those feelings for months and they won't stop just because the divorce is final. A divorce coach can help you find ways to deal with them, including finding a support group or therapist.

Once you've begun to take some control of yourself, a divorce coach can help with other aspects of your life. Chances are, your income will be substantially less than it was, and you will need a financial plan. He or she can help you create a budget, find a higher paying job, or trim down your debt. Some divorce coaches may have looked ahead and worked the expense of retraining for a new career into the divorce settlement. Divorce coaches also help ease you back into the social scene, giving you advice about reconnecting with friends and family, finding new activities and hobbies, even on dating when the time is right.

A divorce coach can be a level head, a strong shoulder, and a warm smile when you feel lost in a sea of people. He or she would definitely be an asset to any legal team.

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